The Platinum Rules of Hospitality

We all know the Golden Rule - or at least we hope we all know it. "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you." It's a great rule, but it makes an assumption that what we want done to us is how others want to be treated. Unfortunately, that's a bad assumption. Here's an example: Some long-time church members enjoy being introduced when they drop into a new church. But not every guest ... in fact very few first-time or returning guests ... want to be identified and introduced and "welcomed" individually in a worship service. If you didn't watch the video on the home page, take a peek at what we mean.

The Platinum Rule: "Do unto others as they would have done unto them." That invites you to try and step into your guest's head as you design your welcome. Of course, this isn't always easy, so here are the Platinum Rule corollaries.

• Don't Embarrass Me. People embarrass easily, so think through what you're doing in worship. If you identify them as guests they may feel embarrassed. Some may be embarrassed if you make them ask where the restrooms are. Others may be embarrassed if you expect everyone to have memorized the Lord's Prayer or Doxology or ...
  
  
• Don't Ignore Me. Your guests want to know they're a somebody and that they're welcome at your church. They expect smiling faces, real greetings, and even a conversation or two. But ...
  
  
• Don't Overwhelm Me. Your guests don't want be ignored, but they don't want to be mobbed either. In some churches a guest may feel like chum tossed to a hungry flock of seagulls. Treat your guests as if they're flowers and your members are hummingbirds that flit here and there greeting guests with a brief welcome, a short genuine conversation, and then they're off to the next guest or member.
  
  
• Don't Confuse Me. Churches often behave as if we're still in the 1950s and "everyone" goes to church. Today's reality is that less than 15 percent of the US was in a church last weekend and people simply don't know much about Christianity. So when you plan your worship make sure your guests don't have to "guess" what's going on. Define your terms ... even things like the difference between the Old and New Testaments, who Paul is, and so on. Warn folks about rites and rituals. If your church "passes peace" tell everyone what that means every week. Let your guests know what you expect ... don't make them guess.